Two hours

I'm pretty open about my internet addiction. The first thing I do in the morning is check my email, Facebook, and often the mom's forum I'm a member of, and often The "news" on Huff Post. All in all, maybe 10-20 minutes. 

I'm getting better about checking my phone throughout the day if I'm with the kids. Not perfect, but better. I find I'm on my phone more if I'm tired, stressed, or need a mini escape. If I run to the bathroom, I often grab my phone and scroll through status updates while on the potty. Unless a child joins me. Then I'm too busy trying to make sure they keep the door closed. 

When the kids are in bed, I move to my iPad. I check FB, surf the web, look up blogs, check the news again, check the mom's forum, and check my email again. This can easily run into 2 hours of screen time. 

I'm very aware that kids will pick up my internet habits like they pick up my eating habits. Whatever they see happen is what they will do. I really don't want my kids on screens 2 hours a day, but I'm not quite sure how to realistically limit my time on iPads. 

I've spent the last few weeks considering why and when I'm using my iPhone or iPad, and I've come to a few conclusions. 

A) I'm using an iPad as an escape. I'm often lonely, tired, and emotionally spent by the end of the day. If I wasn't surfing the web, I would be reading fluff romance novels, because I don't have the mental energy to do anything more, or "real". But honestly, I don't even have the patience to make it through a novel right now either. 

B) I've been connecting to online forums since I was 16 years old. Although it's not the "real world" there's a piece of me that really enjoys being an extroverted introvert. I'm a quiet person, but I have a voice on the internet. Sometimes too big a voice, but it enjoy having that voice. 

C) I have a list of things I think I would do if I didn't have an iPad, but I'm pretty sure I still wouldn't do them. When I was unemployed for a number of months right after leaving the military, I thought I would be able to get a ton of stuff done. Nope. You pretty much do what you do, and if exercise and self improvement were higher on my list, I would make time for them. 

D) Which means that my current need to relax, communicate, and escape must be met in a more productive way. I haven't figured out what that should look like yet.

E) What I DO know, is that I work best in routine, and will need to develop some other new routine if I have any hope of breaking this endless online time suck anytime soon.  

Overall, my iPhone has been a life changing instrument. I use the maps, text, email, calendar, and phone features daily. I no longer miss appointments or get lost. I keep in contact better with good friends, although it could be argued that I would have deeper, better conversations if I held off and called later, not the exact moment something popped into my mind while roaming through the grocery store. Still, I instantly know which brand of cheese to buy, or pick up that one item that I didn't know we were out of, without needing to make a second trip. 

I love using my iPad, and would hate to switch back to a laptop. But it's dying (after 4 years of steady use) and so slow it drives me crazy. Part of me wants to go buy another one so I can keep using a tool that I love. Part of me things it's a perfect time to break the addiction. 

I'm thinking of coming up with some sort of rules that I would want my children to abide by and follow them myself. But to do that I really need to consider what I think is a reasonable use of screen time. Yeah. So... Off to search the web for rules other parents put in place for screen time....

Changes brewing

Just when I got comfortable, and complacent, I find out here are some big job changes on the horizon for my husband. While they're still in progress, I felt an initial fear of"oh my goodness we're going to end up homeless!"  We aren't (by the grace of God and a decent severance package) going to end up homeless. 

Before, I've never minded too much the idea of moving. I've moved so often it's old hat. But I do feel like our current house is more home-ish than others, and I would be sad to need to move. We will just have to see how it goes. We want to stay local, so it's possible. But even local could mean a move to have a better commute to work. 

If we really did have to move farther away, my husband wouldn't mind California. Their droughts concern me, and I'm not a big fan of earthquakes, but otherwise like California a lot. But if we moved away, if rather it be Denver. A few hours from New Mexico, I could get back home once in a while. But I'm open to Berlin too, even though that lifestyle change would be a huge leap for me. 

But honestly, we've got it pretty good where we are now. Overall, I'm happy. I'll be even more happy when my husband's next job is lined up!