Torn

Caring for the environment and living in the states, sometimes I'm torn between my ideals and a life that seems normal (is normal I guess) and compromises seem extremely difficult to make. Car choices, for instance. It's pretty common around here to see large AWD SUVs. We live in the Northeast, and the snow can be brutal. Buying a car that is "safer" makes sense. When we bought the "family car" we bought a Honda CRV because it had great safety ratings, had a car length that would still allow for parallel parking in the city, was AWD, had okay gas mileage (or so we thought), and lots of space for luggage. Also, we kind of lucked out. After looking around for a potential replacement I found out that car seat placement is much more difficult in other models. Actually, Honda is pretty awesome about making sure car seats fit in all of their cars. Fast forward to the suburbs. We no longer need to worry about length, not that I want a boat. We do, however, drive more. When inlaws visit or we have people over, we need to drive to get places...sometimes even if that place is the nearest MBTA station. Since we have 2 kids in car seats, that leaves room for 3 adults in the car (including the driver). While we are lucky that we can fit an extra adult in the back, we are still limited. We need one more seat. If we drive anywhere with the inlaws, now we need to take 2 cars, which is not exactly fuel efficient either. And speaking about fuel efficiency, the CRV is still an SUV. I once said I didn't want to own a car that got under 40mpg. We are a far cry from there. In short, the car served our needs, but now that our situation has changed, we can look at other options. Should we go with a bigger car that fits guests (and potentially carpoolers someday in the future) or a car that is more fuel efficient. If we were wealthier the best option would likely be a hybrid Highlander. Too bad we just can't afford one right now. Another cost efficient option would be a Volvo Xc90. HORRIBLE fuel efficiency, but a car that is built to last a long time. Or stick with what we've got for a while longer and change at a later date, which was the plan until our tires started cupping, after the TPMS light came on, and the tires were less than a year old. So. Do we keep this car another year, knowing that we need new tires (we still are driving on snow tires from last winter) and they might have the same problem. We have already put in nearly $2000 on this car this year, more if you count the new catalytic converter that was covered under warranty. Part of me says that we should just go ahead and get the Volvo. It's what I'd like. It's socially normal to buy the car you want. But I just can't let go of the fact that it has terrible gas mileage. I keep trying to remind myself that perhaps we can't have everything we like if we want to do our best for the environment. In 2 years, or maybe even just 1 year, I hope to trade in our Yaris for an electric car. An electric car is just in line with what I want for our environment. But if I plan to do that, do I really want 2 car payments at the same time? My head spins round and round about this type of thing. I really don't know the answer, so we keep driving the CRV until we figure it out.Lets just hope it doesn't need any other repairs before I figure out an answer.

Kid Free Weekend

We sent the children for a weekend with Grandma and Grandpa to catch up on things and relax. September has been brutal, and I really needed a little space to be able to think again. The experience of living without our kids is pretty surreal. I think I'll have to do it again sometime, because it really reminds me of how much easier life is without kids. Don't get me wrong, I'll take my kids over easy any day, but it's true. I find that I'm forgiving myself for all the things I DON'T do on a regular basis with kids. In one weekend, we managed to relax, AND get stuff done around the house. With kids, it's pretty much either or. The biggest difference is that I'm completely wiped out in the evenings with kids around. We managed to put a puzzle together, make dinner, watch a movie, chat with a friend, and I wasn't falling asleep. Today I tackled our bedroom. For the first time in I don't know how long, our bedroom is not just put away, but clean. I knew, and I think everyone does know, that kids take a lot of energy. I just didn't realize how much. So I'm going to be a little lighter on myself. I simply don't have the energy to do what we did this weekend with kids around. And that's okay. I miss my kids (they've been gone two nights). I LIKE spending my energy on my kids.