Delayed Nesting

I thought I was done nesting. My "nesting" involved various home improvement projects around the house. Projects that I felt were necessary for our new life with kids.

First was the lead paint. While we do still have some lead paint, mostly on the baseboards and window sills of the living and dining rooms, but the second floor is almost entirely clear. Then I moved on to the aespestoes ceiling. It has now been encapsulated in drywall. Of course that project also involved removing a few walls so that the ceiling could be done in one go.

Then I looked at the floors that the babies would be crawling on... Out came another wall before we could put in new flooring. We are still debating carpet verses laminate, which is a very difficult choice.

Then we went to California and I started to "nest" again. This time it was about our home, and where we really want to raise our children,  the reason our flooring decision has been so difficult is because we are trying to decide if we stay or go,  we would put down carpet if we decided to stay...better for crawling munchkins, but laminate if we go, better for resale value. And in California I was back in familiar territory. Somewhere where people knew their neighbors and kids were all over the place. Everyone had a front yard and a garage, and it was warm enough that our friend Jeannette had to keep telling her son to put some shoes on,  it felt like home.

It could not have been more different from Boston. Now, I have a great community of friends in Boston...none of whom have kids. We see friends at church, but rarely even hang out with the other parents of the 19 children born in the last 2 years (yes, we have had a baby boom).  I am the only stay at home mom in the group...Boston is expensive enough that mot people need both incomes.

We could head for the suburbs. Arlington, Natick, Needham, Waltham...all are a bit more expensive than where we live now, but we would be done with home improvement...but we would still be in Boston, with all the traffic and snow, and stress.  But we would be within driving distance to my mother.  Having sick children has really pointed out how much I really need a support network.

We could take a transfer to California.  It is more expensive, but I think we could make it work.  I would actually be willing to sell my Albuquerque house to live in Santa Clara. That says something right there. BUT, is it not totally absurd to move somewhere where they are just waiting for the next big earthquake? And how much farther from my family can I get?!?

There's also the possibility of looking for jobs in Denver. There are neighborhoods I like there, and mountains. I love mountains. Less earthquakes, more snow.  Closer to New Mexico, but not exactly around the corner. And we don't have friends there.  At least in both other places we know people. 

Over the last few months we have spent SO.MUCH.MONEY.  We aren't poor, and we don't have excessive debt, but our accounts are not where we would like them.  And other than stopping the renovations, and stopping the travel, there's not much else to cut back on.  Have I mentioned that we have to go back t Germany this summer for my husband's grandmother's 100th birthday.  Not that I don't want to celebrate...just that I don't see how we can afford another trip! 

So the current plan is to try to hold on for another year (or two).  A year (or two) of saving and not spending. A year (or two) of my husband sticking to a job he doesn't love. And hopefully they don't ask him to transfer before then, because I don't know if we can make that kind of decision yet...can afford to make that kind of choice yet...even for a position that he would like.  

I really want my forever place.  I want to be somewhere so our kids can develop roots. So they can know where they're from. Somewhere where both my husband and I feel comfortable. Somewhere where we have a community I can stay involved with. Somewhere my husband can find a job that helps him develop professionally (his requirement, not mine). 

So carpet or laminate. Cringe. I used to be good at making decisions, but this is kind of overwhelming. I sure wish my husbands top two choices weren't Dublin or Leipzig. Mine woud be Albuquerque or Glens Falls.  None of the options are lifetime valid. :/ how can I be homesick for a place I've never been?!?