Less Than a Week!

This is either the best or the worst idea I have ever had.  There's so much I'm going to miss while away from Boston...Maple Magic Day, our youth minister's ordination, among other things, but there are so many things I hope to do in New Mexico too.

Friends stopped by and checked out the NM house and found it to be intact...but full of smoke.  Although I'd said not to rent to any smokers we found yet another reason we needed to fire the property manager.  Hopefully we can get the smell out without repainting everything, because home renovation was not on the to do list.

I'm not sure what we will end up doing with the house.  We will leave it set up at least until May when we return for another friend's wedding.  After her wedding we've debated renting as a holiday or furnished house, but after our last bout with a property manager...well, I guess we will see.  I'm trying to convince a friend who lives in Boston that she really wants to transfer to the acupuncture school there and stay in our house.  It could save her between $30,000- $70,000, but I'm not sure she'll go for it.  It's a big change, and pretty far from home.

We have a huge list of things to do while in Albuquerque.  The list includes:

(biweekly with friends while I hire a babysitter or Gerd watches the kids)
Flying Star coffee and cake
Pedicures with friends
Betty's Bath hot tub and massage
Game night with friends

(once while there)
Restaurant week
A night of music

Wednesdays with Gerd & Kids (he will schedule his day to work into the evening after the kids are in bed)
Explora
The Art Museum
The Atomic Museum
The Aquarium/Botanical Gardens
The Zoo
The Natural History Museum

(Saturdays)
Ski Sandia (or Santa Fe if the snow is bad)
Hike Tent Rocks
Los Golandrinas (closed for winter)
Ojito Wilderness?
Ski Sipapu

(Sundays)
a walk along the Bosque/Rio Grande
A walk along Old Town
A walk along the Petroglyphs
Quarai
Walk the trails by my house

It's a lot.  Like, a lot a lot, but we might as well enjoy the experience if we're going to go through this enormous effort. Hopefully we fit it all in.  I feel that it's busy, but not completely over-scheduled.  I'm debating writing the events on popsicle sticks and pulling one out each event day to determine what we do

Praying that the flight on Monday goes well.  3 people, 2 babies, and 2 cats on an 8 hour flight.

oh boy.  I need to look at that list again to remind me why I'm doing this...

Love Them

Driving back from our doctor's office yesterday I was again reminded of how much we love her.  During the visit I used the time to grill her on all kinds of questions about health, behaviors, the typical stuff a first time mother always wonders about.  She patiently answered all of my questions, releasing all of my fears, and then she gave her typical disclaimer...

Doctor's don't really know anything.  Well, they know about the functions of the body and medicines, and troubleshooting, but the cause of many problems is still an enigma to everyone.  The AMA is constantly changing their mind about the best treatment practice, etc., and then she got to my favorite part.

The only thing that is 100% proven and agreed upon is that children need love.  Give them love and they're going to be okay.

Of course there are serious medical conditions that this would not apply to.  She is not a Christian Scientist.  But basically, the heart of the matter is this...just do the best that you can.  As with most things in life, if you act out of love, everything will eventually turn out alright.  But always remember to love.

And a simple reminder like that is why we love our doctor.  Just what I needed to hear :)

house guests

Because I don't already have enough on my plate, I welcomed two house guests from Cameroon yesterday. No, I'm not stressed at all about packing up for our first international flight, then moving to New Mexico for a couple of months about two weeks after we get back. not at all right...

Actually I'm kind of hoping that our house guests will be so nice that I will want them to stay while we are away. It would give them time to look for a nice place to live, and help me out too.  But first I want to make sure they don't destroy the house. Did I mention one of the guests is a 7 year old boy?

One of the members of our church came to the US 6 years ago and has been waiting for a visa to come through for his wife and child since then. It finally did, but with a caveat that they had to leave the country in 5 days. The man is currently an in home care provider, so he had no place for his family to land, and I have an empty room upstairs.

I'm really hopeful that it works out, but with twin infants in the mix, I'm also a little worried. Guess we will have to wait and see...

To every season...

I love going to a Christmas tree farm and picking out a tree, hauling it home, putting on the lights and the ornaments, playing Christmas music while we decorate everything...

Except, perhaps not this year.

The time involved for the length of time it would stay up is not an efficient use of my resources.  We leave for Germany on December 14th, so that would be less than half a month of Christmas. Plus, we would either need to pack everything up before the 14th, while packing to to to Europe, or come back to a very dead tree with needles spread throughout the house....

So I did something I never thought I'd do.  I bought a fake tree.  A pre-lit fake tree that I put together in less than 5 minutes, including getting it out of the original packaging.  I did a little rearranging of branches, but overall, it's pretty quick to set up a fake tree.  It was either a fake tree, or no tree at all, and I just couldn't see not having a tree for the babies' first Christmas.

And, I figure we'll run into this problem every other year, so this will be a useful option in the future.  Now I need to decide if I get out the ornaments, or have a second set of basic things to put on the tree.  I'm debating ribbon bows or gingerbread ornaments, something to keep it not bare, but that I can put on and take off without a lot of thought. I debated making baby hand imprint ornaments and then giving them away at the end of the season, but we'll have to see if there's enough time for that or not. 

On another note, we're about to get unexpected house guests.  A member of our church, and one of my mini-parish members, is from Cameroon.  His wife and son got a visa to come to the states, but were given only 4 days to leave the country.  He currently works as a certified nurse assistant staying in someone's home every night as a caretaker, so he doesn't have a home of his own right now. They'll stay with us for two weeks as they look for a place to live.  Really you would think I would learn not to do things like this, but I'm kind of hoping it works out.

If it does, I'm hoping they'd like to stay until we get back from New Mexico.  They could watch the house for us while we're gone and I wouldn't need to worry too much.  Of course, we did learn enough that we are giving them a two week trial period before even mentioning this as a possibility. 

Plans for NM are afoot (and keeping me up at night). Speaking of night, I think I'll try to sleep tonight.  That would be a change...I don't need the kids to keep me up at night, my own insomnia does that for me.

The Routine

I think I would go crazy if I didn't try to follow some sort of schedule with the twins. Sometimes it just doesn't work, but overall I try to follow a routine. The times are pretty solid in the morning, more approximate in the afternoon (except bedtime, that almost always occurs between 6 and 6:30...otherwise they get over tired).

At 5am Tim wakes up, gets a formula bottle, is changed, then goes back to bed.

At 6:30-7:00 Ryan wakes up, gets a formula bottle, is changed, dressed in day clothes, and then hangs out with me on the bed until Tim wakes up. We break out the morning toys...a stuffed dragon that crinkles, a few fluffy stuffed animals, a dog that squeeks...

8:00ish, Tim wakes up.  I change him, dress him in day clothes, then play with him along with Ryan on the bed for a little bit until we make the trek downstairs.  I carry one, then the other baby downstairs (trying not to fall) and put them in bouncers in the kitchen.

9:00  Whoever said not to put bouncers on an elevated surface doesn't have twins.  I put the bouncers on the kitchen table and warm up 2 breast milk bottles. I then roll up some dish towels to prop the bottles and give the babies their bottles at the same time.  I have to make sure they stay upright here and there, but overall, I have my hands to myself.  I try to hold onto their hands while they eat so they're still getting some contact.

9:30  I make breakfast for me and Gerd.  Often eggs, sometimes oatmeal and almonds..simple, but with protein.

10:00-10:30 The babies take a nap, give or take 30 minutes.
 
10:45.  I put both babies are on the play mat.  I play with them a bit while they kick around, then pick one baby up at a time and read stories to them for around 10 minutes each, then play with them together for a little bit.  Overall, this takes around 30-40 minutes.

11:15-I'm back in the kitchen warming another 2 breastmilk bottles.  I have the babies in the living room still.  If they're fussy, one gets the swing while I feed the other baby.  I want to hold them at least once during the day.

11:45 - back to the kitchen and the bouncers while I fix lunch for me and Gerd.

12:15, back to the living room and tummy time or off for a walk.  If tummy time, that only lasts about 10 minutes, then I flip them over and play with them a while longer.  So far they really don't like tummy time.

1:00:  Another breast milk bottle for each and then time for another nap.  This one usually lasts about an hour.

2:00 back to the play mat and I sing to them for a while.  If we haven't already gone for a walk, sometimes we do now, otherwise I try to fit in some tummy time.

3:00:  We break out the formula bottles, then they take another nap...if I'm lucky.

4:00:  We wing it here.  Another book usually, and then some time on a blanket.  The afternoon often doesn't go quite as planned as the morning...

5:00:  Gerd is "off work" and comes down to help out.  They get another formula bottle

6:00 or 6:30ish  The bedtime routine begins, a bath for each, a song as they finish their bottle or drink another one.  From bath to bed takes about an hour.

Sleep

Whenever anyone hears that we have twins they automatically assume we are the worst sort of sleep deprived.  And sure, we have times when we don't get much sleep, but overall I feel pretty blessed to have children who seem to like to sleep.

At first, of course, they slept a maximum of 4 hours at a time, usually during the day.  Usually it was every 2 hours we would change, feed, and return to sleep each baby.  If they were off cycle, it could mean 1 hour intervals. 

During the first two weeks my mom, husband and I decided the only way to make sure everyone got some sleep was by running shifts.  Two people needed to be on at all times.  We camped out downstairs and worked in 4 hour shifts.  That way everyone got at least 4 hours, but occasionally 8 hours of sleep at night.  We would also take naps during the day, so it all kind of worked out. Emotions did run high sometimes, as we were all exhausted, and forgiveness and understanding was quick to follow, because we all recognized that we were not fully functioning.

After 2 weeks we decided it was time to move the babies into their hammocks in the bedroom.  They were, at this point, pretty colicy.  It seemed like they were either allergic to the formula, or something I was eating, but they would wake up screaming in pain.  We went to our pediatrician, who we have since fired, who told us we were feeding them too much.  At this point Tim was sleeping around 6 hours at a time, and Ryan would sleep in 4 hour increments. 

Our new pediatrician, who we love, recommended probiotics.  The next night Ryan slept 8 hours straight, and stopped waking up in pain.  He has since worked himself up to 12 hours and almost always sleeps at least 10 hours straight.  Tim hasn't much improved.  He would wake up so soaked, often we would need to change his pajamas. 

We switched to our "super-duper" diapers, soakers that do a good job keeping everything in the diaper cover.  We got a few nights of 8 hour increments from Tim, but he's pretty much back to 6 hours, then another 3, then another 3.  Not ideal, but we're working on it.  It's nice that he wakes up all happy and smiling, but we hope the sleep times increase.  Last night he fitfully made it through 8 hours, but we were constantly running over to help sooth him back to sleep.

But all of this might change soon.  We've already introduced cribs for naps.  Today their naps include sleep sacks in their cribs.  But for nighttime, they've yet to try out the cribs.  Thanksgiving will be a first, but we need to get them used to cribs before their trip overseas.  Currently they sleep in hammocks that are mounted with springs.  When they begin to stir, they move around, and end up bouncing themselves back to sleep.  I don't know what will happen when they move to cribs at night.  We might end up back to shorter sleep times. 

My hope is that they've learned that it's nice to sleep all the way through the night.  They're getting enough food during the day that they don't need a night time feeding.  I'm hopeful that they will remain tired enough that they will be able to sleep without the spring action.  Only time will tell.  In the mean time, I'm enjoying only waking up once in the middle of the night (Gerd wakes up once too). 

Now if only we could work on the naps.  They get so tired, and want to take naps, but they're frequently only half an hour.  When they get 3 separate hour long naps in, they are much better about going to sleep happy, and actually sleep better through the night.  As long as we don't go anywhere during the day they seem to nap okay, not great, but if we go anywhere their routine is shot and it'll be a rough bedtime routine. 

At around 6:00, although we are trying to start a little later, we begin the bedtime routine.  First one gets a bath and is then dressed for bed while the other plays with the other parent or hangs out in a bouncy chair in the bathroom. They then they get a bottle and lullabies while the other gets his bath, pajamas, bottle and songs.  One is always in bed around 30 minutes before the other.  We've given up on bedtime stories for now, they're too hungry to listen to a story, and then too full and tired to listen to a story.  We're thinking of doing stories before baths, but right now it doesn't entirely work out.  They get independent story time at least twice during their day routine, so they are being read to daily.

Hopefully I'll be able to write about their daytime routine next time I write.  That's a work in progress, but things have been pretty good lately.  It helps that I think about the day as a group of mini-lesson plans :)

Need Vs. Want

My next post was supposed to be on my babies' sleep patterns, but this topic seems more pressing.

I have big kids.  Or long kids, or both.  They're around 14-15 pounds, according to our home scale, they're not due in to the doctor for a while.  They're also 24 inches long.  Our car seats are rated 22 lbs and 29 inches.  While new car seats aren't an emergency, at the rate they're growing, it won't be a full year before they've grown out of their current seats.

And that's a problem.  Actually, that's a part of many problems:

1) My Yaris is small enough that we have to strap in the car seats each time because they don't fit with the click-in base.  We bought the only car seats and stroller that fit into my Yaris, not really considering that I might have to trade the car in a year anyway.  Convertable car seats won't fit while they are rear facing.  The recommended age to turn them around is 2 years.  We will need to put them in a bigger car.

2)  We HAVE a bigger car, my husband's Passat, but it doesn't have the hooks for the click-in base, so that's not useable either, and we have quickly discovered that with double everything, it's not really great for traveling either.  We could get a roof rack and storage container and retrofit the car for the hooks, but that also costs money.  We've had to shell out something like $4000 in repairs this year, and the car is a 2002.  We're not really sure it's worth spending more money on or not, plus I don't particularly enjoy driving it.  Finding a parking spot is very difficult in Southie, and the bigger the car the bigger the challenge it is to find somewhere to park.

3)  Our parking spot has been revolked.  We rented an off street parking spot until the owners of the lot sold it and gave us one day notice that our spot was gone.  Finding parking spots for rent is difficult.  The only one on our side of town is $200 for one car $300 for two cars in a parking garage 1/2 mile from our house.  While a walk might be nice in summer, think icy unkept sidewalks and a twin stroller...But if we got it at least we would know where the car was, and find a spot when needed.

4)  With street parking, getting babies into a convertible car seat before they can walk to the car will mean putting the kids in a stroller, walking to the car, moving the kids into the seats, folding the stroller and putting it into the car.  We might need to get a smaller stroller that has the only purpose of doing this.  The stroller I have is fabulous, but it folds up pretty large when the seats are attached (we are still using bassinets and car seat adaptors so I'm not sure how large).

In other words, we're in a predicament.

I *want* a car big enough to tote everything around with me, but I also want to be able to find a parking spot on the street.  The bigger the car, the more difficult it is to park.  Really, we should think about moving, and we are, but it won't happen right now.  We're doing all we can just to keep up with the babies, I can't imagine trying to pack and move right now, let alone visit potential houses and trying to keep our house tidy enough for a realtor to show our house.

I'm also up against my own values.  Keep things simple, keep them small, don't take on too much debt.  I've long been against buying a gas guzzler, especially if only one person is in the car most of the time.  It's hard to look at cars that only get 21mpg city and realize that that might be the best we can do.

Minivans are WAY too big, my favorite vehicle that I've coveted for years, the Highlander Hybrid is way too big.  I finally found a car that seemed like what I wanted and it has been discontinued (Ford Escape Hybrid).  Very few options are available that fit our needs.  All of them are priced between $25,000 and $28,000

Our short list is:

Subaru Forester, 179.5 inches long, 21mpg city, 27mpg highway, 63 cubic feet trunk space. Comes in manual transmission, not really a smooth ride, but very nice inside. I really like that it's AWD and feels like a comfortable mix between car and SUV.

Toyota Prius V (the hatchback): 181.7 inches long 44mpg city, 40mpg highway, 67.3 cubic feet trunk space.  The most expensive option (and somewhat of a waste since we don't drive that much) but my favorite so far (also the longest option).

Honda CRV: 178.3 inches long, 22mpg city, 30mpg highway, 70.9 cubic feet trunk space.  Also a nice option.  I loved, as in *loved* loved loved my Honda Civic.  But I test drove the CRV after the Toyota.  I didn't like the dashboard on the 2013, but if it's still available when I go home for Thanksgiving a dealership in my parents town has a certified 2010 version which would be far less expensive, and has a nicer interior.

In comparison:  My Yaris is 150.6 inches long, 29 mpg city, 35mpg highway and has 9.3 cubic feet of trunk space and my husband's Passat is 185.3 inches long, 19 mpg city, 28 mpg highway, with 15 cubic feet of storage space.

Logic says that I should just start driving my husband's car until we sell our house.  The car is paid off and large enough for everything but road trips.  But...I don't want to.  I want a car I like.  And I want a car I like without going back on my ideals.  I used to *like* car shopping.  Now it feels like an assault on my ideals.