Can We Have a Do-Over?

One of my "resolutions", if I can call it that, is to try to stay more cheerful. My mother and husband keep telling me I'm negative, and even though I don't think I am, I figured I should try to change their impression of me. I personally think I just have a twisted sense of humor.

In any case, 2011 hasn't exactly been an easy year to keep that resolution. If you have Facebook you've already seen that one of my friends was diagnosed with terminal cancer and that Gerd's job is about to evaporate. I didn't get a job I'd hoped to get, and we still haven't made much progress on our house. My cousin is welcoming his first child next month, and after 2 years of infertility we've got our first real IVF appointment next week. I really hope I'm feeling better by then, I have a nasty chest cold. Right, and lets add a little highway ice drama to the mix. I'm fine, but a 360 in front of oncoming traffic is a bit much for the PTSD laden self that I am. And on that note, it seems rare that I manage to sleep through the night anymore.

Now, I don't think I'm being negative in mentioning this at all, it's all factual. There is certainly good new mixed in there as well, and I don't feel obligated to balance the scale, but it is worth mentioning a few things. My friend has been seeking treatment at an Issels treatment center and says they're hoping to cure her. I still have a job, Gerd thinks he's got a while to find a job. I survived another potential car crash (seriously, what life am I on anyway?).

But honestly, is it really any wonder that I'm sick? Despite all the acupuncture, it's clear that I'm stressed. Now that the sun is out again, perhaps I can get myself to start exercising again. Have I mentioned yet how miserable the weather has been this winter? I basically hibernated. I suppose everyone has stressful times in their lives, but it just feels so overwhelming.

So right now school is out for February Vacation (whoever heard of February Vacation?) and I'm grateful. I might not be healthy yet, but I'm hoping that a few days without students and I get hit the reset button. It's not that I want to be "negative" it's just that life has felt a little harder than normal lately. But after this week I'm calling a do-over. I don't want to jinx it, but next month is going to be better, right?