Lessons Learned

Well, as I sit here, nearly 40 weeks pregnant with twins, and wait, wait, wait, I thought I might as well put down a few thoughts about being pregnant.

I don't think I've ever been one of those people who just couldn't wait to be pregnant.  Sure, I wanted kids, and pregnancy usually comes with the territory, but I wasn't looking forward to the actual pregnancy bit.  I can honestly say though, that I'm glad to have been (am) pregnant.  Here are a few things I've learned:

1)  Despite how annoying it can get with everyone asking again and again how far along you are, and if you're having more than one, it's very nice that people are caring and concerned about people who are pregnant.  Random strangers basically stop you on the street to wish you well.  Even a woman begging for change outside the grocery store asked about my pregnancy.

I tend towards pessimistic, well, maybe not pessimistic exactly, but I see all the problems of the world and often forget about the good parts.  People, as a rule, are generally good.  They help lost travelers, they send money to people in need, they wish people well.

I'm under no disillusionment.  As soon as I have screaming toddlers there may be more judgement than compassion, but it's something to remember for later.  People mean well, and they love to see a little hope enter the world.

2)  You wouldn't believe the amount of people who ask if I've scheduled my c-section yet.  Medically speaking, it's just assumed by many that if you're having twins you will have a c-section.  If I need one, so be it, but it's interesting that c-sections are so common that people would ask me what day I had planned to have the kids.  It's a little sad actually. Sure, there's a greater chance of c-section in twins, but even then, there's nothing wrong with going to term and THEN having one when the babies are actually ready to pop. I'm not really sure what this says about society, other than perhaps we're jumping the gun a bit with babies. 

3)  It is really important to learn about pregnancy and birth from somewhere outside of the hospital community.  I highly recommend Bradley classes, although I feel a little less avid about some tenants of the class.  If I had only taken the mainstream classes I would have believed that I should only gain 45 pounds during my pregnancy.  I've gained at least 75, but I'm pretty healthy.  I wouldn't have know about the amount of protein, water, and exercise recommended.  Mainstream views say to eat more, but not nearly as much as I have.  I completely believe that my nutrition is key to why I've lasted this long in pregnancy.  Okay, I might be fully ready to give birth now, but it's far better to get to 40 weeks than to deliver at 34 weeks, which is the point where nearly all of the twin mothers I've met have told me they delivered.  All of them had NICU stays as well, although they did end up healthy in the end as well.

4)  I've learned to take even sage advice with a grain of salt.  For instance, although I love Bradley classes, there's one basic tenant that I disagree with.  Bradley says that the human (female) body was designed for birth, and therefore everything can happen naturally.  I add, in most cases.  The hospital's interventions are seen as an industrial complex, which I do believe is somewhat true.  We intervene way too much in pregnancies, BUT sometimes it's necessary.  Before modern medicine lots of mothers died in child birth.  While our infant mortality rate isn't the best right now (we're number 34), it's far better than many others.

Also on that note, while it is important to get your protein in, it won't kill you to have an off day once in a while.  Today's breakfast?  Carnation Instant Breakfast (2 packs) in a large glass of milk, cheese and crackers, and apples with peanut butter.  All said in total, maybe 30 grams of protein, which is where I want to be...but no eggs and no leafy greens.  I think we will survive.  I just didn't want to cook this morning, so I didn't.

5)  I do not enjoy being fat.  I know it's really not fat, it's babies, but blech!  Not fun. I've been pretty thin my whole life, so it's interesting to deal with all of the physical demands of heaviness.  I'm hoping that my dislike of extra weight will help me get back in shape as soon as I'm able.

Overall, I feel like the things I've learned over the past 9 months will only help me through the next stage of parenthood.  People mean well, find the right people to learn from, take a critical look at the medical industry, but remember that they're there to help you, perfection is not necessary, remember that you'll want to exercise after birth.  Would I have learned these things if I hadn't been pregnant?  I think I already knew them all already, but it was a nice refresher.

I'm not against adoption.  How could I be knowing that one of my best friends from high school was adopted.  She's a great advertisement for adoption.  I am, however, grateful that I've been able to go through the experience of pregnancy, even if I never thought I really needed it.  Now lets see if I'm grateful for the experience of the actual birth.  So far birth videos do not make me any more excited about that part of becoming a mother.  But I guess I'll just have to remember that I've enjoyed (can't believe it, but it's true) being pregnant (although I am very, very ready to no longer be pregnant).