The Statistics are In

Despite the news that Grandpa passed away, my husband and I decided to keep our doctor's appointment with the fertility counselor yesterday. Despite one pregnancy that was cut short we've had no other plus symbols on sticks or anything like that. Since I'm a year away from when doctors claim pregnancy risks increase we decided to have fertility testing to ensure that everything is in working order. I didn't want to try for another year and THEN find out something was wrong.

And I guess something is wrong. He couldn't exactly say, we fit into "generalized fertility issues" which make up a large portion of people trying to get pregnant. We do have some specifics, but nothing on its own that should prevent childbearing. I think perhaps it's a combination of many different things. My thyroid, for instance, although it tested within average ranges, was at the lowest possible point for safe conception. We're supposed to be monitoring it...somehow? My eggs are fine, my tubes are fine, but somehow my eggs may not be making it through my tubes okay. My husband has mobile sperm but a low sperm count.

All in all the doctor said we would have a 20% chance of conceiving in a year if we tried on our own. I looked up normal rates, of course. A "normal" couple has a 20% chance of conceiving each month with a 90% chance of conceiving within a year.

So the doctor laid out possibilities.

Our first option is to stimulate hormones, producing multiple eggs that release, with the hope that at least one okay egg makes it to the right spot at the right time. We'd be "inseminated" (IUI) with Gerd's sperm, deep into the fertile crescent, hoping our two bits become one. This, we're told has a 25% chance per cycle of working. Risks include twins or triplets and raving hormones that make me more irritable than I already am. Oh, and the drug was actually designed to ward off breast cancer. Hot flashes, also a side effect, would be welcome this time of year.

Our second option is IVF. I'm sure you've heard of IVF so I won't bore you with the specifics of the process, just to mention that, while there is still a risk for "multiples" it is somewhat more manageable. We could opt to only place one or two embryos each cycle, no need to worry I'd end up like octomom. This procedure has a 40% chance of success each cycle with an 80% chance of success over three cycles (if using "live culture"). If we freeze some embryos on the first try instead of "harvesting" each time, the rate goes down to 70%.

And here is where the betting begins. While I'd like to try the *slightly* less intrusive model first, at least for 3 cycles, but it will be about $400 each month. Our insurance only covers a maximum of $5000 for fertility issues. We've probably already bitten into the budget with the tests conducted so far.

If IUI doesn't work IVF is much, much more expensive. $8000 for a live cycle and $3000 for a frozen cycle. That doesn't include the $3000 per month medications.

Adoption, by the way, isn't any less expensive. It's pretty horrible to worry about how much money we need to spend to get a child, but *getting* a child is just the beginning of expensive, we know.

So we're contemplating for a bit, but I'm sure we'll return to the issue soon. Meanwhile I'll go back to acupuncture and see if it will do any good. I'm hoping that now life is stabilizing again that perhaps I'll go back to having normal chances again, but not counting on it.