So today I found out that my previous position is re-opening with a 20 hr/week contract. They'd like me back, and sound pretty amenable to waiting until January for me to come back. I'd always thought I'd want to be a full time stay at home mother, but I'm seriously considering it. Why? Well, here are a few good reasons...are they good enough?
1) If I did work 20 hrs/week I would be able to divide it into 3 days with 6 hrs/day plus 2 hours on another day (and hubby could watch the babies those 2 hours, great for father-son time). The location of the workplace is about 5 minutes away, and I would split my time up, 9-12, 1:30-2:30, 5-6 or something similar based on kid routine and class schedules. Ideally the afternoon time would be during nap time. I don't think I'd be away so much that I wouldn't be able to be a very involved parent. I'm not even sure if I'd need to pump breast milk because I'd be around during feeding times (by the time I'd start work the kiddos would be about 6 months old, and hopefully on a pretty stable eating schedule?)
2) If I did this, I would get a part time au pair. The cost would almost eat up the entire amount of my earnings, BUT there'd be some significant benefits. First, I would want a German speaking au pair so that more German would be introduced at an early age (and hopefully with a proper accent, my husband's region is renowned for their difficult to understand accent). Second, au pairs do some of the cleaning up, so I would have help keeping the house clean and the diapers washed.
3) Pin money, or so regency novels call it. Even though it wouldn't be much, I'd earn enough money to have a little extra spending money each month, when otherwise our budget will feel pretty tight. We're talking less than $400, but that's $400, help with housekeeping, and a German tutor.
4) Career wise, I wouldn't have a huge break away from work, and I'd be doing something I love. It's close by, and I think having a routine would actually help me organize my time better and get more done. I've learned from experience that having time away from work doesn't automatically mean I'll start learning to make cheese or any other project I haven't completed yet, and I'm sure kids will make it even harder. To do the things we love to do, we just have to schedule it in and make it a priority.
The drawback to all of this is that I wouldn't get to be a full time stay at home mom. In the back of my mind, at some point when the kids get used to a routine I've been hoping I could become an urban homesteading mama, but realistically, would I be that disciplined anyway?
Of course this is all moot if a) they don't agree to my hours/start date and b) I can't find a German au pair that wants to work part time.
What do you think...too soon to decide? Will my thoughts change when I've got two babies in my arms? Decisions, decisions....
2 comments:
Mama sanity time is a major reason to keep your options open here.
Having babies is a wonderful, blissful, life-changing event. It is also a 24/7 job where you lose sleep and your conversation topics center around boobs and the color of your baby's poop. If you give up something you love (teaching), you will grieve for it along with for the loss of some of the "you" you currently are.
There are some people for whom motherhood and taking care of small children *is* their passion (and they tend to work in preschools). For the rest of us, there are other things we also love in life. And while children are important, they don't have to be the only important things.
Basically, if it makes you happy to continue teaching, and you can arrange things to where it isn't too stressful (it sounds like you have a very nice setup planned), then do it. If it doesn't work out, you already have a plan to be able to stay at home.
I went back full-time when my daughter was right about 5 months. Had I had an option for 20 hours a week instead of 40, that might have been better--going back was pretty stressful with daycare and pumping every day and a brand new employer. After the 2nd, I went back only 24 hours a week at first, and that was a much better balance for me (I still had to pump because I was too far away to go nurse him during the work day, but I was used to the routine by then).
But even if I hadn't started back to work, I would have done something (probably something big and complicated involving the house...or else I would have started writing fiction a few years earlier...or become a freelance web developer..) I found out rather quickly that I need more than just childcare to stay happy :)
And BTW, if you ever have questions, want advice, or just want to vent about breastfeeding or pumping (or the color of baby poop) just call/email/whatever. Been there, did that, LLL member, dealt with lots of crazy issues across the two kids, and I'm happy to help or just to listen. (I'd be happy to change a few diapers if I lived closer!)
Yeah, I'm pretty much leaning towards the work, but we'll see if it works out. I think I'd be pretty satisfied staying at home, and I'm sure I'd take up some new hobbies, but it seems like the benefits are pretty good for both me and kids. Clean house, German tutor, extra cash. That's not just good for me, it'd be good for the kids too. BUT, I was looking up the mom and me programs at the local library, and it looks like my schedule would interfere, so there would be some sacrifice :(
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