A friend from high school commented on Facebook that one of her "friends" removed her from their friend list because of a status update that she posted. I read the update and wouldn't have removed her over it, even though I disagreed with her viewpoint. But I have to admit, I've thought before about either unfriending her or at least hiding her updates. She's not the only one, some of my old acquaintances from high school have such different viewpoints (and at times offensive to me viewpoints) than I get a bit irritated when I read some of them. Gay bashing, Liberal bashing, Vote: Is Obama Evil?, Violent, Militant, etc.
And the thing is, I know I'm exactly the same way. I make snap judgments about issues and see things from my own perspective. I 've tried over the years to tune down my outrage, but sometimes I'm successful and sometimes I'm not. I'd like to get to a place where I can express my views in a way that shows the world that there are people who hold this view that I have, but that also demonstrates that I am accepting enough to listen to someone else's opinions. The world would be a better place if we could just accept each other's views and work together to affect positive change. There are plenty of changes needed out there.
But how do you do that? Especially on polarized issues?
Take, for instance, gay marriage. I am strictly pro gay marriage. I base this on the following:
a) The constitution says we are all entitled to equal protection under law. If marriage entitles a person to certain legal privaleges I think any couple that wants to marry should be allowed to do so.
b) I think the government should not reach into people's personal lives. Why should government dictate a private contract between two people? There is no physical or mental danger for either party entering into marriage. People observing other gay married couples are not forced to enter into marriage with that person and there's not a lot of difference between a gay married couple or a gay domestic partnership.
c) I think the issue of morality is unfair. Religious teachings say that homosexuality is sinful, but they also say that divorce and not keeping your body as a temple is sinful. Why should we focus on this one issue? If the government enforces this act of morality where is separation of church and state? Plus, I think there are a lot of bad moral choices made around us everyday and we don't ask the government to act on them.
I have heard the following arguments against gay marriage
a) Seeing gay married couples together makes it difficult for religious families to explain to their children that homosexuality is a sin. Happy gay married couples make homosexuality look like it isn't a sin. Schools will be forced to teach children that homosexuality is okay.
b) Gay couples statistically don't stay together as long as their straight counterparts. "Only 5% of them stay together anyway". This leads to more divorce, more custody issues, more problems.
c) Government will have to pay social security benefits to gay partners of the deceased.
Seriously, nobody is going to convince me against gay marriage. I can argue each one of these points and won't give an inch. And I know that I'm not going to convince someone that the morality of homosexuality is irrelevant to the issue at hand. In the end it will come down to a vote and the majority will win. Which means we're constantly trying to convince each other that our views are right or better. So how do I have firm beliefs and yet continue a productive discussion on this issue? How do I state my opinions and still not offend?
Abortion, gay rights, labor laws, immigration, environmental action, death penalty, war, globalism, and resources. They're all issues that aren't just going to go away. Two sides are just going to pick at each side of the other until the issue is all chipped away and they're chipping at each other. And I'm not writing this to try to solve any of these issues, obviously they're way too big for this blog. But I'm really struggling thinking about how I view the world and how I can be in this world without being judgmental.
1 comment:
From my experience, its not possible to both express opinions and not offend other people. People feel themselves to be offended for the darndest reasons sometimes (though sometimes they feel offended for completely understandable reasons, but you can't always predict which is which).
I have long since learned of myself that I have a great capacity to speak my mind in utterly offensive ways without having the slightest clue until the words are out of my mouth (and sometimes, not until someone points it out to me much later). I also rarely feel offended by other's opinions (because rarely does someone come out and say "Kristi you are worthless as a human being"--usually people talk in generalities, not specifically at me).
If I state my opinion on something controversial, say gay marriage, I don't really care if I offend someone. (I'm solidly for it, btw, and have yet to hear an argument that would even make a dent in that opinion). There are plenty of folks who feel themselves offended no matter which side of the fence you sit, so may as well pick a comfortable picket and make your seat comfortable.
If I am worried about offending folks with my opinions (or worse yet, accidentally baiting them into turning their attacks on me), then I just keep them to myself.
I have a strict policy of not feeding the trolls, and try not to be one myself. Though, as I mentioned before, I may occasionally accidentally masquerade as one.
Post a Comment