How many cookies?

It's that time of year for me when I look back at Christmas instead of looking forward to it. Every year there are WAY too many presents under the tree, even after perpetual affirmations by the entire family that we are NOT going to buy many gifts. And I guess we didn't, if you look in the comparative sense.

If you take away the Nature Mill indoor composter (which I know was expensive), I had a handful of inexpensive presents from both my parents and my husband, but they were all great gifts. Lots of books that I wanted, and some I didn't know about, a few new pieces of clothing, a few sentimental trinkets (like the handthrown mug I coveted while wedding shopping for a friend) and a handy iphone battery life extender. My husband fared about the same although his big gift was a seriously needed new laptop case. His favorite gift was a hand carved saguaro rib walking stick that my step-father made for himself over 30 years ago.

But if I had to estimate the amount of money we spent between my husband and I, I would have to say we spent about $500. That's WAY over the $100 challenge that I keep saying I'd like to do some year. While I'm sure I could get down to $100 per PERSON, I just keep seeing things I'd like for everyone. And because I start shopping early I just keep adding to the pile.

While I like the IDEA of a compact, less commercial Christmas it reminds me of some people I know who deliberately live in poverty. At least one of the people I'm thinking of cuts expenses so they can live below the poverty line and not pay taxes for war. That's some dedication. But when people decide, deliberately decide, to live poor, I'm always reminded that it affects other people too. A friend who makes little fails to bring a dish at the pot luck because they don't have the money, I loan out the car and it's returned without the gas refilled. Small things, but they lead to feelings of resentment.

And when I think about cutting back on how much I spend I wonder if I would be that person. The one who takes more than they give. How difficult it is to be qui pro quo in gift giving.

And if I sound ungrateful, I'm not. More like trying to justify how much fun it is to get a bunch of nice presents. :)