Was I ever a good writer, or did I just like to write? Is there a difference?
One of my friends wrote to tell me she's now published. Now, I don't want to sound rude, or play down anybody's talent, but my opinion is that this girl just can't write. Is that caddy? I don't know. I feel that I should be supportive of all hopefuls, and yet I tend to believe some people just aren't meant to be authors.
My ex-fiance was one of them. He really, I mean really, wanted to give up work as a computer software engineer to write his novel. I found myself in a terrible position, because his writing was so terrible I knew he wouldn't get published without some serious editing. He tried to write science fiction like he would a technical manual, yet without the cleverness that might have made the whole thing work. But he was clever, just not on paper. Should I have encouraged him to follow the dream or told him to write in his spare time, pretending to believe in him. That's pretty much what I did, but I always felt I was a bit bland in my presentation of the subject. Perhaps I should have said that's the worst crap I've ever read, but that's certainly not the supportive role of a fiance.
In the end I was saved by the war. He went through all forms of introspection, counseling, etc. and gave up his career to become a veterinarian. I think that was a much better idea. He wasn't happy and he was looking for a way to be happy. I wasn't that way, and writing was just a big red herring.
Still, I haven't resolved the issue of support for the aspiring author. I used to believe that I was a pretty decent writer, but I'm a bit insecure about my own writing. I've never put the time or effort into creating something spectacular, but I've always believed that I could do better than most romance writers I've read. Not all, there are some talented people out there, but some. And yet whenever I let someone read anything I've written, I never believe it'll be good enough.
Perhaps that's why I'm suspicious of people who think their work is good. I don't know. I'd like to believe I'm completely supportive of those who have a talent for words, but maybe I'm too judgmental, of myself and of others. I know that's true in other areas of my life.
So I decided to look up the publishing company that is responsible for my friends happiness. Eloquent Books sounds a little odd to me, but of course I can't really find out more without having a book to send to them and review. Should I be happy for this friend who has found a company who will print her book, or sad that they may be a scam, playing on people who want to be published, but are repeatedly turned down. Here's a quote from her book:
"That day, after so many weird things had happened, this stranger told her she wasn’t like everyone else. Looking down at her fat body and kinky hair she thought, well, obviously. But then he said something that made her entire body tingle. ‘Darby you’re a fairy.’ Not just any fairy, but a very special fairy with more power then any fairy before her. " http://www.eloquentbooks.com/PurpleButterflies.html
Maybe the thing to do is to write. It may be complete crap, but if I'm going to criticize someone else's work, maybe I should see what I've got. Maybe I'm hard on others because I want to try. I know I have problems, I'm slowly loosing my higher level vocabulary, I can't remember the basics of grammar, and report writing for the Army has stolen my fluff and flowers. Now was that corny or good? I honestly don't know. But I guess I might as well try. If I find out I'm a terrible writer I won't be the first one to fail.
Can I write for my own benefit, even if I find that I'm an un-author? Why do I want to write? If I think I want to write because I have a talent for it, what happens when I find out I'm not as talented as I once thought? All questions that remain unresolved.
2 comments:
Wow. Where to start?
I can say, that as a reader, I love the voice that you use when writing. I loved getting all your travel email-updates from Germany/Europe and then Iraq. Partially because I like to know what you're up to, and partially because they would paint such a nice picture of where you're at. So yes, you have talent :)
One thing I'm learning as I play with writing is that with or without talent, everyone has to work at writing to get to the "published" stage. And a first draft can be nowhere near the final draft, which itself can be nowhere near what would be printed if it had the help of a professional agent, an editor, and a copy editor.
Do I think I have talent? Who knows. I don't care. I decided to write because I needed a creative and emotional outlet, and because I can't pack my sewing machine up and work at Starbucks to escape the kids for an hour a week :) And because I read so darned much that I figure that I ought to be able to write *something* resembling fiction :)
Also, there are many types of "publishers". There are the big names, like Harlequin, Avon, Tor, Penguin, Pocket Books, Scholastic, etc, that print books and sell them through major bookstores (and even places like Walmart). There are much smaller presses that do the same thing, with fewer authors that probably earn less money. There are e-publishers (I keep reading about ones that specialize in erotica, probably because they're some of the few that actually make their authors any money--look up Samhain, Ellora's Cave). And there are "vanity publishers" who will print just about anything--but the author pays *them* not the other way around (In "real" publishing, money flows to the author, no downpayments or funky fees required). Heck, you could print yoru book at Kinko's and claim you're published....not saying that's what your friend did, but I've not heard mention of her publisher before either.
I think, like with anything, you have to examine your own motives. Are you writing because you enjoy it? Do you expect to be published (i.e. books at Borders)? It sounds like many authors spend years and write several novels before that happens. Is it just a hobby? Do you just want to write and print stuff to pass around to your friends and family? Do you want to write non-fiction (for magazines or newspapers? So many choices.
I joined RWA (Romance Writers of America) with a friend. I'm loving it--our local chapter is a lovely group of women who all like Romance. There's a monthly critique group that I go to where we give feedback on each other's work. If nothing else, I like the people, they all like reading, and we go out to eat as a group after the monthly meeting and critique group. Its worthwhile even if I never publish a thing. But many of them are published (one gal hit the NYT Bestseller list last fall...), and they're all sharing knowledge with everyone else.
So, yeah. You have lots of questions. I think we all do. Follow your heart and your calling :) And keep the travel updates coming (your Europe trip over Christmas sounded so very cool....)!
I think you have talent, and I believe you'll get something published some day. When you do, I'll be one of the first out to buy it.
Will I get around to writing? I don't know. Right now writing is therapy, but somewhere in the back of my mind I'd like to be published someday. The why of that is still haunting me. Still, not much of a haunting since I haven't produced anything to actually publish.
But I have decided it's time to come out of hiding. I'm planning on submitting a query letter to The Sun about my letters from Iraq (thank goodness Mom saved them all) but I'm pretty sure I'm not up for a book yet.
It sounds like you've got a great group around you (I'm jealous). I'm glad you found it. Love to you, Merl and the kids.
Post a Comment